I was diagnosed with genital herpes 2 years ago, being only 17 years old & having only 1 oral sexual partner, I felt my whole world come crashing down when I finally found out the news. It started out as what seemed to be a bladder and bacterial infection, when the doctor told me she was testing for Herpes Simplex I didn't even think twice about it, I mean why would I have? I was still a virgin, I had only had oral sex with one person, my first love. When my doctor told me I had GH, I didn't believe it or even understand. I was so confused and I was in shock. How could this be happening to me? After the doctors I cried all the way to my boyfriend's house, when I got there it took me awhile but I finally told him. Looking back on it I feel so stupid, I remember being scared to tell him because I was worried he would think I was disgusting when HE was the one who gave it to me. He did unknowingly give it to me, but I was so naive about the situation. I just couldn't come to terms with the situation, I refused to accept it. My breakouts were so terrible and painful that i eventually had to start talking Valcyclovir, currently I am taking 1 gram tablets a day and it works most of the time. It took me 2 years to tell my mother, I was ashamed and hurt. She was very supportive and accepting, even admitting that she already had a feeling due to my prescriptions. I use tea tree oil to treat my break outs & it works most of the time but it can be very uncomfortable, a sort of stinging sensation. For a long time I have felt disgusted with myself, everyday I have to carry this awful secret inside me. The only two people who know are my ex boyfriend & my mom. I just feel like nobody will ever want me, it is so hard being 19 years old and having to worry about finding someone who will be accepting and non judgemental of you. I didnt choose this and I wish I could go back in time and be smarter about protecting myself. It is difficult living day to day with GH, knowing I will have it for the rest of my life. Some days are good & some are bad, it would be nice to know I'm not alone in feeling like this.I just wanted to write this to reach out to other young people with GH. I wish I had been more proactive when I first found out but I was so young & so scared that I just pretended it didnt exist. If you are young and this happened to you, it is going to be okay. Although it will never go away, Things eventually get better.
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