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Ashame & Foolish at 50

I have been reading this site for a week now because at 50 years old and after 30 years of marriage (but recently seperated) I have contracted an STD from foolishly having unprotected sex with 2 people who I thought were responsible, clean older men. I have an appointment to see a physician for an exact diagnosis but I am terrified, ashame, feel dirty and isolated. Im afraid of what the doctors, my family and other people will think about me. I even feel like I'm being punished for deciding to leave my marriage.

I've read about various STD's and have symptons that could be GW and GH or both (that's why I feel dirty and contaminated). I feel sooooo STUPID.

I work in the health field and I have a 28 year old daughter and a 25 year old son whom I educated about safe sex but then I make a stupid mistake that will affect my life forever.

Im even ashamed to tell the two men because the one who did not give it to me may think Im promiscious and nasty.

I feel all alone because I haven't read on this site where someone my age has contracted an STD at this stage in life....I AM ASHAME & FOOLISH!

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heads up...

you are not alone 'foolish', i'm a 48 year old male and recently married. I too felt stupid and dirty. a few years ago, i had been dating and seeing three different women at the time of my exposure and i had to tell them one of them had infected me. with care and understanding, everything works itself out. keep your chin up. you will see it will be a faster healing process, both physically and emotionally. :)


You re not on your own my friend. The same happened to me. Long term relationship with a guy who two timed me was devastated went with a guy of 50 who gave me herpes and never told me or wore protection ugh, I am 55 just horrendous to deal with. I have one son whom I have told and he can't believe it either. He says its really bad luck as he knows I have never slept around in my life. Good luck and don't let it spoil your life, there are lots of people with it, keep fit as I do, gym and good food. I take blazei and just started taking olive leaf extract.

foolish 2

dear ashamed & foolish
i am a 42yr old husband of 19yrs with 4 children in a very similar place.I have infected my wife with HSV1 and have ruined my marriage as well.Because of this we're heading for divorce.
When I read your comment I could identify where you are at psychologically.The very same feelings of guilt, shame , dirtiness, foolishness is what I feel also. I am in counseling because I've been thru extreme depression and have isolated myself from my family and friends. keep up prayer. seek counseling too. The best to you thru your trial.



You are not foolish at all. I spoke to a PHD in the field of 'Sex' and found that even women and gentlemen in his field have unprotected sex. And these guys are sex educators that preach safe sex... They are not proud of it either but with this knowledge all of us can feel a little more normal. It is not such a bad thing. And even if you did use a condom you still could have caught this disease. It is kind of the price we pay for connection. I ended up with herpes from my long term partner. I tell my new partners this and they are okay. Just take care of yourself to avoid the break outs. In a way it is a gift for me because an outbreak reminds me that I have not been eating healthy and taking good care of my body with exercise etc...

If you choose to accept it as a normal part of the human experience much like the flu or a respiratory infection you will not feel so bad or ashamed. Also keep in mind that herpes is no more embarrassing than having the flu.

Not to take away from how you feel because every time I have a break out I do feel a little shame but I just remind myself it is normal.

All my love and best of luck in your path to acceptance.


You are not foolish! Im in my 40s and yes its awful , it happens and you feel like its the end of the world and dirty but your not and neither are the rest of us, we all are in the same boat. Take Lysine capsules , eat healthy , keep your lysine intake higher than your arginine intake (check foods list) an older male dr told me to use Lyterine(original) and dab on,,,,it works and is a relief.. I do not use medicine anymore... stay stressfree and Live life

Life goes on

I realize it’s been a few months since you posted, and I hope you’re feeling better about the whole thing. I don’t see any reason you should be ashamed. Your partners could well be responsible men who believed they were clean, and as for having relations with two of them, good for you! Enjoy what life has to offer, while you can. All you can do is your best, and you did what you knew to do. While I believe in being smart about risks, I don’t think it’s right to live in a bubble just in case. From all I’ve been reading, this virus can be caught when there are no visible signs, and it can be carried without symptoms, even when it’s contagious, for a lifetime. I’m 45 today, and woke up in the middle of the night to realize that what I thought was a severe yeast rash is almost certainly GH. I will go to the clinic tomorrow to find out. My only partner is not monogamous, but paranoid careful, as he is making up for having married at 16 and been in a miserable relationship with his wife until a couple years ago. Until now, I didn’t know you could catch this despite using protection, or when having no symptoms. I bet he doesn’t know that, either. So, live and learn, and learn to live with it, I suppose. I know that, if I test positive, and I’m certain I will, the conversation with my guy will be difficult, but it’s no one’s fault, except for my providers, who never gave me all this pertinent information.

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