People who denigrate modern anti-depressants are doing a great disservice to those who suffer so terribly from a condition which essentially is the result of a chemical imbalance. If you had diabetes most people wouldn't feel that there was anything wrong with the 'chemical fix' of taking insulin. A deep depression is a state of mind that those who haven't experienced it can hardly imagine. I know that, I've been there. Especially if you're contemplating suicide... what have you got to lose? Don't be a victim, take action. Make an appointment with a psychiatrist and see what that can do for you. The new stuff won't make you feel dopey, it will rebalance your system so you can feel content and normal as you may have felt in the past. Don't worry, you'll still be yourself. Good luck and God bless.
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