For about 3 years I've been holding my thoughts and feelings in. Seeing therapist, psychologist. I knew what was wrong with me, I felt guilty for letting a close friend die. Then I lost my Job, then i developed sleep disorders, Post traumatic stress syndrome, then I began to have epileptic seizures. Well I was at my breaking point, getting migraines every day. Going to church, which wasn't helping. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, for the first time in my life I knew what it was like to really want to kill myself. I had put a gun to my head 3 times, but couldn't do it. ''I loved life''. Then I was visiting my parents, crying nearly nightly. Finally I just let it all out over dinner, My heart was racing,,I told them how i felt TRULY FELT, that i didn't want to live anymore and all the guild i bore. The weight of my world, and the pain in my head went away...I cried for about 2 hours and tons of fluids came out my ears.
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