Anonymous
I am someone who is in severe manic depression right now in my life. My little eleven year old angel (Whom) was my only child passed away 35 days ago. I am having a very difficult time in how to cope with this, and I think my panic attacks are even more unbearable because my precious little girl left me so unbelievably sudden. I didn't have time to prepare myself, and most importantly I didn't have time to say goodbye to my baby.
My family, friends, and the man that I love so dearly are completely NOT knowing how to deal with me, or how to help me. I feel like everyone is trying to either figure out how to deal with me, or they are just there (More less) feeling guilty for me; so that's why they are around. I feel like they are doing it more for themselves.
The man I love and whom I have cared for for such a long period of time, is so selfish that even when I call him crying at night....he doesn't answer; and will tell me the next day that he is busy with his nephews (Who are precious as well), but it just hurts. It hurts because the VERY few people I have turned too... Keep letting me down. NOW! I mean, I don't want no one to baby me, but I find it so very selfish of him and a friend who I have always been there to just treat me that way.
They see that this is my most horrible time in my life, and they are more concerned about having to deal with me than to really just be there for me.
I miss my daughter so much that I just pray to God to let me die. There is no point for me to go on right now. There is no hope and there is no happiness anymore.
Please someone help me. Please.
Please don't hurt yourself. Although I can only imagine your pain, just think how your loved ones will suffer without you. They will also experience a great deal of guilt. I am so very sorry for your loss, I can only imagine how horribly painful this must be for you, in losing a child. I know that has to be the greatest pain ever, and I truly hope someone will step up, and take care of you, and make sure you will make it through this, and be okay. I know depression, and anxiety. I've had it for about six months after my husband left me and my two children with nothing, while I am ill,no job, and on disability. I never knew how much one could hurt. It is very very painful. And unless one has gone through the pain. It is hard to explain. I wish I could wipe the pain away for you. Please, seek help. Keep looking and looking until you find someone who can help you. I know this cannot be easy for you.I know sometimes you just want to crawl in a corner and die, but I do believe time heals. It may take a long long time, but you are worth it, hang in there. Take care, and God bless you!