My Home Remedies

Abscessed Tooth Home Remedy Comments

7 Comments for the Abscessed Tooth Home Remedy


If you've had one you can relate, this just occurred and I wouldn't recommend it unless you're very, very desperate, but I was clueless. Warning, this is gross.
Okay. I had an abscessed tooth that was basically a rotting stub that was long ago root canalled and ground down to nothing. But the hollow root stays in my head. I get a nearby tooth filled. Something about this procedure sets off a series of events, that begins with mild pain and swelling on my gums. I take antibiotics. The swelling continues. Ed the dentist sees me again to poke some holes in my gum to release the gunk. It's sort of effective, but a couple days later I awake in pain. The swelling is back. Bad. My right cheek above the gums is beginning to look chipmunk-like and is warm to the touch. More antibiotics. The next day, more pain. Dentist discovers the tooth that was filled recently, the 'healthy' tooth, in fact must have it's nerve rooted out. This sucks because it involves a thin needle being injected directly into live nerve tissue. That happened this morning. I went to an appointment in SilverSpring. My face continues to swell. I get home and note that the right cheek is sunburned (not a surprise) but is also starting to break out and look really oily. I mess with the cheek and scrub the burnt skin off. I notice a strange taste, like blood, barely present on the dead, long rotted tooth nub to the right of my mouth. As I press harder on my upper cheek, a little more pus-blood oozes out. BINGO! I think. Time to get rid of this pressure. It helped that my appointment in Silver Spring was with a hypnotist who taught me a technique to reduce pain, specifically for my toothache. Without hesitation I grab a box of dental grade plastic toothpicks, the kind with the pointy end and feathered end also, and start digging. It's surprisingly easy and doesn't hurt bad. The toothpick pops into the first layer of infected flesh beyond the dead tooth-nub. Out flows pus-blood. As I investigate further, I find three distinct pockets surrounding the bastard piece of tooth. I must maneuver them within my face so they are able to drain directly down the hollow root canal and onto my tongue where I spit into the sink, or, if it's really pussy, dab with tissue. I get all three of the huge pockets with the gross stuff. Way to go! I say. Feeling my face, expecting significant reduction in swelling, I slowly discern that the first pus pockets were but apertifs. The gunk goes up into my cheek too. Ok. So now I actually get up on the sink by the mirror and decide that the first part worked, let's just finish it off. It's not as easy. First, you must maneuver the toothpick up or beside the canal, beyond your gum and into the stretchy membrane that keeps your mouth separate from your face. When you find a tender spot, like up on the fleshy part of cheek that rises when you grin, you must poke hard to puncture that cyst. To remove the gunk thoroughly it helps to lodge the toothpick, with the pokey, feathery side into the rotten bone canal and massage your cheek down over it, producing some pressure. When it works best, you can quickly remove the toothpick and release a small glut of puss-blood out of the cheek pocket. This must be repeated in a variety of angles. As I learned this I discovered the pus-blood sometimes goes places other than the desired opening. It migrates up to the bridge of your nose, or at least it feels like it. That's funny, there's pressure way up on my cheekbone, almost to my temple, what the heck? That's when I realize the entire fucking right half of my face has become a clump of toxic cysts that will possibly migrate to my eyes, or fucking brain if I don't get them out. I start to work faster. The basin is filled already with a quarter roll of toiletpaper soaked and spotted with different shades of saliva, bright blood streaks, dark nasty blood, and of course some yellow pussy stuff. I have bent about toothpicks on both sides, am reaching for more. Mom arrives home with the aloe for my sunburn - oh yeah, THAT's what I wanted to treat when I entered the bathroom. I've been in there so long I had forgotten, oh, say, 45 minutes. I am really into it at this point. There's no. freakin. way. I'm going to go through this much, quit, and have the godforsaken satan tooth close up again with it's toxic sludge festering beneath my rosy cheeks. Mom sees the blood and me thrusting a plastic spike all the way up under the cheek adjacent to my nose, then contorting my flesh so as to guide all the toxin toward the minute opening of bone that can release it to be spit. Actually, when you get a new pocket it's more like a steady stream of bloody, pussy drool running from the left side of your lips as you savagely massage the right side, head tilted to keep the flow going downward. If your head is up it tends to go past the opening and into your gums, which swell, and it then has to be squeezed back up into your face so you can get it out the tiny, tiny release valve. Eventually the contents of your face are out, or are pushed very nearly to the mouth of the dead tooth. You think you're done. Nope. After that 'last' bit there are still 2 deeper pockets, harder to puncture and thicker with puss, that must be lanced in order to ensure your FACE will not begin to rot. One pocket is a hard nodule deep under the skin beside your nose. Poorly thought out squeezing here may create puss beneath the skin of your lower eye, and you figure you don't want that. So, go ahead, shove that baby up and in with the pointy end of the stick to you get a nice hole and, there we go, whole LOTTA blood, whole lotta bright red blood and pus globs. One Boss cyst down, one to go. Reach almost back to your temple and pull the flesh along your cheek bone, and there it is. You have to pierce the cheek flesh at an angle almost parralel to your teeth, pratically knocking some other nerve roots that have somehow survived, and get it way back under the gums to your wisdom teeth region. Then, simply use all the force your fingers can muster to rally the last, squishy, weirdly malleable fluid-goo to your gums, then up to the cheek again (now as well-worn a path like the Spice Trail of Marco Polo) and finally stick the canal, yank the pick, and get that sticky junk out of there. By now, mom has brought 3 warm glasses of salt water. This has helped the process along. A whole roll of toilet paper is used and would be heaping in the sink if mom hadn't plucked it from the sink in between visits to the other room and lamentations that, perhaps, you shouldn't poke so hard! There's blood splatter everywhere from the particularly productive squirts. Your face is sunburned and blood streaked. Finally, after searching out any lingering foul fluids, your saline spit it coming out clear. Your cheek, though plenty swollen from the steady kneading, is at least smaller by 5 times what it was before. What it was before... when it was apparently completely filled with bile, bacteria, and probably some spider larvae or something. It's then you get lightheaded. The rush to remove the grossness kept you going, but now you feel queasy, outside yourself. But there's one last step, and it is a more pleasant satisfaction than the feeling of yielding cyst juice. You get to go downstairs and show off your handiwork to the dentist, who has been eating ice cream in the living room watching House. He approves, and you are reassured that your instincts were correct - you really DID need to half fillet your face, because the other options were worse and probably included necrosis and your face emitting the putrid almond scent of gangrene. After an ice pack, you'll be damned! Only the rash of stretched sunburn. Your gums feel floppy and your cheek feels like a thick, empty sock, but you actually look close to normal. And ready for your date tomorrow. And that, my friend, is how you express (that is the word) your own pestulent visage. You're welcome.

The End

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Lol! Wow...great job


I'm in so much pain right now...You have me cracking the hell up!!! (with mouth shut lol) Wish you could come do this for me, Im getting my tooth pulled on mon. but swelling is worse & the Dentist didnt give me anything for pain!!!!! Haven't slept yet so im calling the dentist in a few hours!! Thanks for the laugh def needed it lookin like a chipmunk on crack haha Great Job BTW:)


Weird, really weird.


Dude, Im speechless lol.


You are a awesome writer. I laughed my ass off as I pictured my future dilemma in my head. Just READING your home remedy was probably as effective as most the suggestions. At least I stopped thinking about the pain for a minute or so. Thanks


I think I am gonna be sick after reading this one lol


You're a good writer :-)

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